Do you find anxiety seems to be a part of your thoughts that has no off switch?
Nowadays, anxiety appears to be more and more present in our world. Here’s the thing: anxiety is actually a good thing, but it has to be in moderation. At the appropriate levels, anxiety can be really beneficial to us. Much like ice cream, watching football, or a good cup of coffee, if experienced in moderation these can be good things for us. However, too much of any of those leave us feeling like a bowling ball, with upset spouses, or unable to sit still for 5 minutes. I often tell clients that without anxiety we would just do stupid things all the time, so some healthy anxiety can be good. Think of an orchestra. If there was no trumpet whatsoever, there would be something missing. However, if all you could hear was the trumpet, this would be overwhelming. Our work in therapy is designed to get your anxiety to a reasonable and tolerable level.
If you’re here, I’m guessing you’re experiencing anxiety far more regularly than what feels normal. It may feel crippling, never ending, or like a weight that is too heavy to handle. This is where I believe therapy can be beneficial. Together, we can work to get that anxiety to an appropriate level.
Is our goal to get you to a place where you don’t experience any anxiety at all? Absolutely not. If you’re about to jump out of an airplane I still want you to feel a little anxious. Is our goal to make it that interacting with others, handling work, or facing challenging situations feels manageable? Absolutely.
You are not alone in feeling anxious
The reality is that anxiety is actually very common. Many people experience excessive worry, stress, or anxiety on a daily basis. Some of the most common ways that people experience anxiety is:
Excessive worry in various social settings.
Feelings that they will never be able to do their job well or accomplish it to the level that they need to.
Feelings of panic on a regular basis.
Racing thoughts that feel as if your brain cannot turn off.
Choosing to avoid social settings on a regular basis because of anxiety as to how they will go for you.
Utilizing drugs or alcohol specifically to calm these feelings of anxiety.
Anxiety is one of the most common reasons people come to therapy, but many individuals still believe their anxiety is not bad enough or worthy of therapy. Not only do many people struggle with and experience anxiety, but many people also struggle with utilizing improper means to try and manage it (i.e. that bottle of wine at the end of the night). Stuffing and refusing to look at anxiety is another one of the ways that people continue to struggle.
The goal isn’t to destroy your anxiety. It’s to manage it
Back to my point from earlier: without anxiety, we would just do stupid things all the time. Again, anxiety in itself is not a bad thing. There is a part of us that is trying to alert us to some level of danger. Think about if you came across a mountain lion in Rocky Mountain National Park and your pulse didn’t change at all. That’s not good. The issue is that the overwhelming feelings of panic, worry, and anxiety are often coming up in situations that we don’t want to be feeling those things.
If we believe anxiety isn’t 100% bad, that’s really good for therapy. We’re not going to try to dismantle the entirety of this anxious part within you. We simply want to get it working at a proper level. This should be a relief! Many of my clients come in and feel like they are “too far gone,” and the reality is that nothing could be further from the truth. If you went to the mechanic for your car and they told you that the car needed a whole new engine, you would likely feel pretty disappointed. However, if they just told you that your engine needs some tweaks, you would likely feel a whole lot better about that.
Often, with my clients I find that there are reasons for the anxiety. However, it takes exploring their anxiety to figure out the reasons. Back to my car analogy. If you know nothing about cars, but you notice a weird noise while you’re driving, it’s may be all too easy to go worst case scenario. Likewise, if you are noticing anxiety in situations where you don’t understand it then you may start to look at it as a worst case scenario as well. Just like how if someone understands cars, they will worry less with car trouble, if someone understands their anxiety they will worry less about anxiety that comes up in their life. Part of the work of therapy will be understanding and getting to know why that anxiety is coming up in your life.
Right now, it may seem like anxiety, stress, and worry are completely random in your life. I have found with many clients that there are actually very traceable reasons around why anxiety comes up. As this understanding of anxiety grows, it is actually going to allow us to begin to move that anxiety into a healthier role.
It is common to feel hesitant about therapy
I should be able to figure my anxiety out on my own.
It’s pretty common for people to put this kind of pressure on themselves, but just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s fair. If you have heart disease, you would go to a doctor. If you’re in the middle of recovering from a major injury, you would go to a physical therapist to increase your strength. If you wanted a good cup of coffee, you’re going to the coffee shop with the barista that has a tattoo sleeve and five piercings. Yet if you have anxiety, you should be able to handle it on your own?
People who need therapy are in a far worse spot than I am.
Have you ever seen and NFL running back get his MCL, ACL and LCL all get torn on one play? That guy goes and gets surgery, but then he also goes and gets physical therapy. Maybe you’re more like my dad who tore his hamstring because he got overly excited while playing cards. Guess what? He still got physical therapy. There are different levels of anxiety, and therapy can be helpful for all of them.
If I start exploring my anxiety it’s just going to get worse.
To be blunt, for a bit, yes. If you go to a physical therapist to help recover from an injury, part of growth is a level of discomfort. That is what is required when you’re strengthening muscles. In a similar way, we’re going to have to experience some discomfort while addressing anxiety. Much like how after you begin strengthening muscles, you will find growth, that is going to be what we see in therapy.
Right now, it may feel as if you’ll be stuck feeling anxious forever. The reality is that if you never do anything to try and combat it, that is possible. The type of work I love to work on with clients are the things that feel like there’s no path forward. The areas of our lives where we feel the deepest hopelessness are the very areas in our lives that offer the greatest opportunity for redemption.